tales from the crypt

1. They are arrogant and have a sense of entitlement: This is one of the key indicators of a narcissist. He or she believes that they are special, superior to others and deserve to be treated better than others. They like to brag of their successes and accomplishments, and want everyone to…

I think we know a few of those

I’m feeling fat and sassy.

“

—	frat boy Taylor

It’s so easy to just get lost in the woods and DIE.

“

—

ROXY

HELP

Can you block people from following you?

All of the McShame

Today Houston forgot her wallet TWICE on our way to get Mcdonalds.
We dug up enough change to pay for her medium fry and after I drop her off she decides to drop her phone, not realize it, sprint to my car to bang on my window [it was 1 am I was about to turn, I screamed bloody murder]. She opened the door gasping, red plastic fry-holder in hand, saying MAN DOWN, I LOST TWO FRIES ON THE RUN OVER! Still recovering from my heart attack, I help her search my car, eventually figuring out that she dropped it back by the door.

food-sleep-mcr:

emblemthree:

how to wear the same pair of jeans for 3 days without anyone noticing a novel by me

you spelled 3 weeks wrong

Roxy had a lesbian dream about a friend last night.

My response?

LOLZBIANS

WHEN MY ROOMMATE AND ME REALIZE WE’RE OUT OF FOOD

howdoiputthisgently:

WE’RE LIKE:

I haven’t shaved my legs in like 5 weeks.
I’m simultaneously proud and disgusted.

-Roxy

Roxy: I haven't made out with anyone in so long.
Roxy: What if I'm a bad kisser.
Roxy: Matt told me I was a good kisser one time.
Houston: I'm sure you're still fine.
Houston: ...... I mean.........
Houston: I've kissed you. So if, you're wondering, yea, you're great.
Houston: I forgot we did that.

room 161: gateway to hell

the idea dawned on me only today to document the happenings in room 161, as a reminder to those that dwell there, and as a warning to future generations.

the cast of characters include:

roxy- self-declared “lost child.” studies leaning towards economics or management or sociology. basically she’s an indecisive snooze-fest. she’s from a minuscule town, graduating class size: 42. forty. fucking. two. high school extracurriculars included cheerleading, volley ball, ffa, teching backstage. current extracurriculars include being a cow. and a pothead.

cherry- psych major. PSYCH. just kidding, she actually is a psychology major, and dance minor. she’s a minesottan. we hate her. we can’t pronounce the name of her town. it’s like schezashuanitacomatafeck. or something. high school extracurriculars included cheerleading, dance, horse-riding, and track. current extracurriculars include you tube and facebook stalking, and colouring at 5 am with my fucking crayons. bitch.

raven- psych and communications major. i heard once that psychologists have the most problems. just saying. she’s the baby of the room, not even 18, what the hell child. she’s a sarcastic, emotional narcoleptic. frequently comatose. high school extracurriculars included theatre, choir, musicals, volley ball and soft ball. current extracurriculars include bella voce (a female a capella group) and concert choir. also kicking ass and taking names. also being a whore.

houston- this is me. vocal performance major with some sort of concentration. photography? cultural and historical studies? culinary arts? i am half neurotic mess, half six year old. also i’m pretty much the height of a six year old. high school extracurriculars included theatre, musicals, choir, and volunteering. current extracurriculars include bella voce, choir, opera workshop, photography, and being excessively obnoxious.